ENTERING INTO GODLY RELATIONSHIP

Abraham said the same LORD God of heaven Who took him from his father’s house and from the land of his kindred, and spoke and swore, that the same God shall send His angel before his servant and he shall take a wife (not just a woman) from Mesopotamia for his son, Isaac (Gen. 24:7). It was from this statement of Abraham that we know that as our salvation is important to God, so is our marriage.

If God could locate Abraham and saved him (out of his father’s house), and that same God located the right woman for his son, then yours will not be difficult! If your salvation is not difficult for God to accomplish, then your marriage will not be difficult for Him, as well.

Now that we have seen or understood “The Gravity of Marriage”, it is good to proceed to look at how the servant of Abraham prayed himself into discovering the right woman for his master’s son, and the godly path he took to enter into the relationship that led to the marriage between Isaac and Rebekah.

The whole chapter of Genesis 24 made it clear that Abraham and his servant did not joke with any moment and with any of the processes that led to the marriage between Isaac and Rebekah. There was no moment in which the servant of Abraham felt that God was not needed. These two men made God to be involved in the whole process, beginning from the point of engaging the servant to the point of consummating the relationship.

God was involved at the arrival of the servant at the well. God was the One who pointed Rebekah to him. This man involved God when he spoke briefly with Rebekah at the well. He involved God at his meeting with the elders and parents of Rebekah. It was therefore not a surprise, as we shall see later on, that no part of the engagement was reduced to jokes or mere entertainment, as we see it today! Even the elders who moderated in the house of Rebekah showed their commitment to God, and they spoke as God’s representatives. In a nutshell, God was at the centre of the marriage of the son of Abraham.

While this man deliberately made God the centre of everything, but you have made yourself, your selfish interest, money and your emotion the driving force behind what you are doing. If you must get the result of the servant of Abraham, then you must also give it his approach.

JOURNEY WITH A FOCUS

Abraham birthed the focus of the journey. The focus was to get a wife appointed by God (not a girlfriend or a date), for his son, Isaac. This focus was sealed and moderated by God’s involvement, which Abraham himself brought to bear with grave certainty, to assure his servant that he was not gambling:

“The LORD God of heaven, which took me from my father’s house, and from the land of my kindred, and which spake unto me, and that sware unto me, saying, Unto thy seed will I give this land; he shall send his angel before thee, and thou shalt take a wife unto my son from thence.” Genesis 24:7 (KJV)

It must be made clear here that godly marriage or journey towards it, is meant for believers and not for gamblers! Abraham was too sure of what he was going into, and he brought his servant into that same level of faith, before he released him into the assignment. Without faith it is impossible to please God.

It is sad that many Christians, who are already in marriage, were not sure of what they were going into, before they stepped into it. And, now many who want to go into marriage, are still not sure of what they are to step into. If you don’t know where you are going, why taking off?

Abraham engaged his servant by faith and sent him by faith. His servant also went by faith, acted by faith and accomplished everything by faith! Caleb, in his days, knew that God commanded each tribe in Israel, under the leadership of Moses, to inherit their portion of the land of Canaan, by casting lot.

“And ye shall divide the land by lot for an inheritance among your families: and to the more ye shall give the more inheritance, and to the fewer ye shall give the less inheritance: every man’s inheritance shall be in the place where his lot falleth; according to the tribes of your fathers ye shall inherit.” Numbers 33:54 (KJV)

But Caleb chose to be different when it was the turn of Judah to take their (own) possession. He remembered that he left Egypt by faith, walked through the wilderness by faith, spied the land of Canaan with Joshua by faith and now arrived the Promised Land by faith. Many of Caleb’s colleagues died in the wilderness, but the ageless Word of God kept him alive. Many of his colleagues died of snakebite, but his faith in the Word spoken to him kept him. The question that bothered his mind was, why would he have arrived at that point by faith and yet then take his possession by lot? The Bible says:

“Then the children of Judah came unto Joshua in Gilgal: and Caleb the son of Jephunneh the Kenezite said unto him, Thou knowest the thing that the LORD said unto Moses the man of God concerning me and thee in Kadeshbarnea.

Forty years old was I when Moses the servant of the LORD sent me from Kadeshbarnea to espy out the land; and I brought him word again as it was in mine heart.

Nevertheless my brethren that went up with me made the heart of the people melt: but I wholly followed the LORD my God.

And Moses sware on that day, saying, Surely the land whereon thy feet have trodden shall be thine inheritance, and thy children’s for ever, because thou hast wholly followed the LORD my God.

And now, behold, the LORD hath kept me alive, as he said, these forty and five years, even since the LORD spake this word unto Moses, while the children of Israel wandered in the wilderness: and now, lo, I am this day fourscore and five years old.

As yet I am as strong this day as I was in the day that Moses sent me: as my strength was then, even so is my strength now, for war, both to go out, and to come in.

NOW THEREFORE GIVE ME THIS MOUNTAIN, WHEREOF THE LORD SPAKE IN THAT DAY; for thou heardest in that day how the Anakims were there, and that the cities were great and fenced: if so be the LORD will be with me, then I shall be able to drive them out, as the LORD said.

And Joshua blessed him, and gave unto Caleb the son of Jephunneh Hebron for an inheritance.

HEBRON THEREFORE BECAME THE INHERITANCE OF CALEB the son of Jephunneh the Kenezite unto this day, because that he wholly followed the LORD God of Israel.” Joshua 14:6-14 (KJV)

Caleb refused to gamble because he had a specific Word from God. Only a man who lacks such sure Word of prophecy, gambles with his life, marriage and purpose (ministry, business, career etc.)! is there any Word from God before you entered into this relationship? Gambling only looks godly to the unbelieving believers, not to a man like Caleb. He took his portion, by the Word of God, as spoken unto him!

Do you now that dating, sometimes described as going-out (with a man/woman), came and is almost staying with us, due to lack of sure Word of God? Dating, going-out, having boyfriend or girlfriend are all strange to the Bible. They are products of fear, and not of faith!

Date or dating is an arrangement or agreement between a man and a woman, to see or meet themselves, for a period of time, so as to check if they are good enough for one another (in marriage). And part of what some of the people involved in dating check, is their skill in bed and in the kitchen! Obviously, this kind of arrangement can only be at home with gamblers (non-believers or unbelievers), men and women who are without any definite Word from the LORD! While date is for unbelievers, we make bold to say that faith is for believers!

Dinah, the only daughter of Jacob, and the first daughter of Abraham, got herself into this faithless and faceless dating (going out), which was common with fatherless girls in her environment. The Bible says:

“And Dinah the daughter of Leah, which she bare unto Jacob, WENT OUT to see the daughters of the land. And when Shechem the son of Hamor the Hivite, prince of the country, saw her, he took her, and lay with her, AND DEFILED HER.

And his soul clave unto Dinah the daughter of Jacob, and he loved the damsel, and spake kindly unto the damsel.

And Shechem spake unto his father Hamor, saying, Get me this damsel to wife.” Genesis 34:1-4 (KJV) [Emphasis mine]

As dating suggests- going out, Dinah went out of God’s boundary, out of God’s covering, out of God’s purpose and counsel, and she was defiled! The word “defiled” has the word “file”, which could be a folder in which important documents are kept or the abrasive iron used to sharpen knife or cutlass or a line in which soldiers arrange themselves. Sadly, Dinah, during her dating got defiled, that is, she lost her file where important documents of her life were kept. She was defiled because she lost the sharpness of her testimony. She was defiled because she was no more standing among the file and rank of those to be blessed. It was sad that her name was sadly missing the day her father called out to bless all his children. Why? She was defiled! Where is your file brother/sister? Are you still sharp and can you sharpen those around you, as before? Are you still in line with Jesus or you have fallen out of line? Those who get into dating are those who are ruled by fear!

It will interest you to note that it was fear that made Judas to steal whatever was kept in the bag, not covetousness. The only reason you also steal, cheat, lie, seduce, entice, and sleep around is fear (lack of faith)! The only reason you are going out with a man/woman, to test his ‘love’ for you or test her skill in bed, is fear (lack of faith). The only reason you are asking professional prophets and pastors to help you ‘pray’ over five names, is because you are a faithless person; a gambler not a believer!

Match-making and having boyfriend/girlfriend, which are also strange to the Bible and are ungodly ways to get into marriage, came and thrived on the wings of fear! The fact that these things are gaining popularity in our time and space, and they are being practiced in some respected quarters, do not make it right or godly. These syndromes grew among men, and unfortunately among Christians, because faith is growing less among us!

Thus, when the servant of Abraham came to Mesopotamia, he did not look for a date or a girlfriend or someone to match-make with his master’s son; he came to locate the wife whom God had appointed for his master’s son! If the servant of Abraham did not look for a date for Isaac, how then do you expect the Holy Spirit to now look for a date for you? Date and faith do not walk together. Faith calleth things that be not as though they were!

PRAYING WITH A FOCUS

“And the servant took ten camels of the camels of his master, and departed; for all the goods of his master were in his hand: and he arose, and went to Mesopotamia, unto the city of Nahor.

AND HE MADE HIS CAMELS TO KNEEL DOWN without the city by a well of water at the time of the evening, even the time that women go out to draw water.

And he said, O LORD God of my master Abraham, I pray thee, send me good speed this day, and shew kindness unto my master Abraham.

Behold, I stand here by the well of water; and the daughters of the men of the city come out to draw water: And let it come to pass, that the damsel to whom I shall say, Let down thy pitcher, I pray thee, that I may drink; and she shall say, Drink, and I will give thy camels drink also: let the same be she that thou hast appointed for thy servant Isaac; and thereby shall I know that thou hast shewed kindness unto my master.” Genesis 24:10-14 (KJV) [Emphasis mine]

The first thing the servant of Abraham did, as soon as he arrived at the well, was to make all the camels, that could bring unnecessary attention and attraction, to him, to kneel down! You will never be able to pray with a focus and with no distraction, if you do not make those prominent things about you and in you, to bow down to prayer and to the ministry of the Word and be submerged by the two! Those things you are flaunting, which you think are your selling points, are what will distract you and attract the wrong person to you!

Abraham’s servant did not pray like a gambler, as many people thought. He prayed the simple prayer of faith:

“And let it come to pass, that THE DAMSEL TO WHOM I SHALL SAY, Let down thy pitcher, I pray thee, that I may drink; and she shall say, Drink, and I will give thy camels drink also: LET THE SAME BE SHE THAT THOU HAST APPOINTED for thy servant Isaac; and thereby shall I know that thou hast shewed kindness unto my master.” Genesis 24:14 (KJV) [Emphasis mine]

This man, by implication, asked that God should lead him to ask for water from the one whom He (God) had appointed, and he requested that God will help him to do it once – “The damsel to whom I shall say, let the same be she that thou has appointed”.

This prayer does not reflect a man who was gambling or playing games; this is the prayer of a man seeking to do the will of God! He sought to be connected with the damsel God had made for his master’s son. And because his antenna was working, he picked the signal coming from heaven very accurately, such that he did not try two different damsels before he got the right one. How many ladies and men have you tried out or tampered with, and yet you are still nowhere? The woman Jesus met at Sychar in Samaria, had tried five men and the sixth one was not her husband! Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life, no one can get to the Father, to know what the Father has in mind, except through Him. Why not come to Him now?

After praying, Abraham’s servant waited patiently, not only for the signal from heaven, but also for a strong confirmation. If you have prayed, why not wait? Waiting is not a sign of weakness; it is a demonstration of the inner strength, to withstand external pressures! You do not need to help God to answer your prayers. Those unsolicited gifts, calls, text messages, visits, tweaking, twisting, and cat-walking are not necessary!

It is one thing to pray and wait, and it is another thing to pray, wait and not waste the waiting! A man wastes his praying and waiting by missing the waves coming from heaven! What gave the servant of Abraham this kind of accuracy and precision, is prayer! You need to know that there is no other way to see, hear, or speak accurately, except through the knees! Elijah demonstrated this for us to see:

“…And Elijah went up to the top of Carmel; and he cast himself down upon the earth, AND PUT HIS FACE BETWEEN HIS KNEES,” 1 Kings 18:42 (KJV) [Emphasis mine]

A man who puts his face between his knees, has also put his eyes, ears, mouth, nose and even his brains, between his knees! What the servant of Elijah could not see or hear until the seventh time (which could mean the seventh hour), Elijah picked it the very first time he put his face between his knees. If you are not seeing through your knees, then you are seeing through your needs!

Some people believe it is risky to wait for God to speak, they wonder, what if God does not speak or the man or woman does not know how to hear God or discern God’s voice; what happens? Truth is, that a man/woman who cannot hear God accurately, is not mature enough to marry!

If Cornelius, an unbeliever, could hear God accurately, then what stops a Christian from hearing God accurately? (Acts 10:3-6). If Paul, a three-day old man in the faith, could hear God accurately (Acts 9:10-12), then we should agree that a brother or sister who has spent more than three years in the faith should be able to hear God more accurately.

GODLY APPROACH

“AND THE MAN WONDERING AT HER HELD HIS PEACE, TO WIT WHETHER THE LORD HAD MADE HIS JOURNEY PROSPEROUS OR NOT.

And it came to pass, as the camels had done drinking, that the man took a golden earring of half a shekel weight, and two bracelets for her hands of ten shekels weight of gold;

AND SAID, WHOSE DAUGHTER ART THOU? tell me, I pray thee: is there room in thy father’s house for us to lodge in?

And she said unto him, I am the daughter of Bethuel the son of Milcah, which she bare unto Nahor.

She said moreover unto him, We have both straw and provender enough, and room to lodge in.

AND THE MAN BOWED DOWN HIS HEAD, AND WORSHIPPED THE LORD.” Genesis 24:21-26 (KJV) [Emphasis mine]

Rebekah did not do all what she did to impress, seduce, lure, or entice the servant of Abraham; she gave water to the man out of her sincerity and love for service! As a lover of animals, she also gave water to the camels. That singular act resonated with the servant of Abraham, because those traits in Rebekah aligned with Isaac’s, who was a shepherd. Why did you do or why are you doing what you are doing? Is it for the sake of truth or for the sake of trap? Is it for the sake of love or for the sake of lust? Is it to serve the truth or to slant it?

However, though the pieces of evidence available to the servant of Abraham were grave, much more than what many presumptuous ones are carrying about; yet none of these great pieces of evidence made him say what he was not licensed to say or to reveal the sacred information in his heart when it was not yet time. He also did not misbehave towards Rebekah or towards God. The Bible says, “And the man wondering at her HELD HIS PEACE, to wit whether the LORD had made his journey prosperous or not”. What does it mean to hold one’s peace? It is simply to be quiet and/or to be still. Does it mean the man will not talk at all? He will; but as a well-brought up person, his talk would not be with Rebekah, at the well or in the eatery, it would be with and before the elders at home (and at their invitation), who will judge if he was speaking the mind of God! He will not spill his bogus revelation to intimidate a young innocent girl!

Moreover, it does not show soundness of teaching and of upbringing, to chase sisters/brothers around with what God has told you about them (as far as the issue of marriage is concerned)! Your disciple-maker is the first and the only person to know until s/he bids you to disclose it. The disciple-maker of the sister is also the first to know, from her, first, and, later, from your disciple-maker.

We must take note of the phrase, “to wit whether the LORD had made his journey prosperous or not”. This means that this man is not going to fall for the bait of jumping into early conclusion. He needed to wait, check, and confirm if God was in this. While this man was far away from Abraham, his master, he ensured that he was not far from God! He was in constant touch with God, an attitude he exhibited throughout Genesis 24.

Rebekah, on her part, also proved that she was well-fathered. It would have been an embarrassment for her not to have a father, when asked. Do you have one? She did not jump into conclusions or read meanings to the simple questions the servant of Abraham asked her. Neither did she stand at the well in an endless discussion with the man. The moment the man gave her those gifts, which were measured or weighted, and asked those questions, her heart yearned to go and report herself immediately. The Bible says:

“And the damsel ran, and told them of her mother’s house these things.” Genesis 24:28 (KJV) [Emphasis mine]

What does it mean to run? It means to make haste. She knew that such a matter must not be kept for long. Even though there was nothing suggestive, as it were, about what the man gave her, yet she was still not going to keep those weighted gifts to herself. Does that look like you, oh, precious brother/sister? You kept all the unsolicited money transfers and spent it secretly! Now, there is a demand to pay for what you have collected.

Rebekah did not wait for three or six days before she came around to casually mention it, like many people are doing today! She hurriedly went to those who could help her look at the gifts given to her. She did not assume she was old enough to have and keep such gifts. You kept yours and now you are in trouble because of the secret gifts and dreams you are keeping!

If Samson disclosed to his parents that he killed a lion, they would have held him back (being a Nazarite) from going to have contact with the carcass of the lion. But because he kept it to himself, he also kept his defilement to himself and, he eventually kept his appointment with untimely death! He fell alone and died the death of a lone ranger!

You cannot be the player and be the referee, at the same time. Let correct, godly, unbiased men and women of faith, help your dreams and your revelations. Do not assume you understand what God is saying to you. Even if you understand it, it is only the mouth of the elders can say that kolanut is mature!

Do you have anyone you have submitted to? Truth is, you need someone to take spiritual oversight over you. You need someone who can interpret your dreams and your gifts. You need a godly person who can help you enter into godly relationship, except you have something to hide.

In the next edition, we shall x-ray what happened in the house of Rebekah’s parents and how her relationship got started. God cannot be mocked, whatever a man sows, he shall reap.

May your steps be ordered by the LORD, this day, every day and in every way, especially in your marital journey, in Jesus’ name!

Shalom!

In HIS grip,

Segun Ariyo.

THE GOSPEL OF JESUS CHRIST: HIS SECOND COMING (Part 3)

Beloved,

Grace and peace from God the Father and from the Lord Jesus Christ, be unto you.

This is to remind you that today, being Wednesday, is our Bible Study day, and it means we shall be live on this page and on our regular platforms at 3:00 p.m. (+01:00 GMT), by the grace of God.

We are still looking at “The Gospel of Jesus Christ: His Second Coming”. We looked at “Signs and Sighs of His Coming” last week, but we shall focus on “Reasons and Rhythms of His Coming”, today.

The first advent of Jesus was laced with definite reasons, and we believe that His second advent shall also be laced with reasons. Not knowing the reason for a proposed visit, may make you not to look forward to it. Our expectation of His coming should increase as the time of His coming is drawing near if we know the reasons for His coming. Knowing the reasons for His second coming should therefore change our attitude towards it. It is time to stop imagining the second coming of Christ as an ordinary global occurrence.

I invite you, and others in your areas of influence, to join us today on:

Facebook

https://web.facebook.com/Bethphagealatavillage

YouTube:

http://www.youtube.com/c/pottershousechristianmission

Cross-Fire Radio: mixlr.com/cross-fire-radio

Shalom!

In HIS grip,

Segun Ariyo.

THE GRAVITY OF MARRIAGE

THE GRAVITY OF MARRIAGE

“And Abraham was old, and well stricken in age: and the LORD had blessed Abraham in all things.

And Abraham said unto his eldest servant of his house, that ruled over all that he had, PUT, I PRAY THEE, THY HAND UNDER MY THIGH:

AND I WILL MAKE THEE SWEAR BY THE LORD, the God of heaven, and the God of the earth, THAT THOU SHALT NOT TAKE A WIFE UNTO MY SON OF THE DAUGHTERS OF THE CANAANITES, among whom I dwell:

But thou shalt go unto my country, and to my kindred, and take a wife unto my son Isaac.

And the servant said unto him, Peradventure the woman will not be willing to follow me unto this land: must I needs bring thy son again unto the land from whence thou camest? And Abraham said unto him, Beware thou that thou bring not my son thither again.

THE LORD GOD OF HEAVEN, WHICH TOOK ME FROM MY FATHER’S HOUSE, and from the land of my kindred, and which spake unto me, and that sware unto me, saying, Unto thy seed will I give this land; HE SHALL SEND HIS ANGEL BEFORE THEE, AND THOU SHALT TAKE A WIFE UNTO MY SON FROM THENCE.

And if the woman will not be willing to follow thee, then thou shalt be clear from this my oath: only bring not my son thither again.

And the servant put his hand under the thigh of Abraham his master, and sware to him concerning that matter.” Genesis 24:1-9 (KJV) [Emphasis mine]

The issue of marriage is not something that can be approached aimlessly and thoughtlessly, as many people are now doing. It is important to point out that godly men and women of old, never toyed with this great institution, for they knew what it meant and they also knew that it would be hard for any man who missed it at the point of marriage, to get it right in his lifetime.

Above is the part of the story of how Abraham handled the marriage process between Isaac and Rebekah. We need, therefore, to take a cursory look at some salient issues in that passage, so that those who are yet to marry might be well-guided and those who are married might see what to seek help about.

STEPS AT SECURING GODLY STANDARDS

We need to iterate that Abraham was not flippant in his approach to marriage, though it was his son’s. This indicates that God does not take marriage, especially the marriage of His sons and daughters, lightly. Marriage is not something to toy with.

It is with this understanding that Abraham engaged the eldest servant of his house, who ruled over all that he (Abraham) had, in the project and in the process. Abraham engaged a man, who, by his long years of relationship with him, had become like him. This agrees with the principle set forth in John 1:1:

“In the beginning was THE WORD, and the Word was WITH GOD, and the Word WAS GOD.” John 1:1 (KJV) [Emphasis mine]

If we take the last two words of each phrase in John 1:1, it would read, “the Word with God was God”. In simple form, the Word played the role of God, because the Word was (had been) with God, since the beginning. This was why God was comfortable to send His Word:

“He sent his word, and healed them, delivered them from their destructions.” Psalms 107:20 (KJV)

God, up till now, still engages His Word in all matters, and marriage is not an exception. The gravity of marriage makes God not to trust anybody or anything outside His Word. It will be in your best interest to stop looking for help or guidance outside the Word of God.

We need to also note that, despite the fact that this servant had a track of record of integrity, Abraham still put him under an oath before he sent him. The Bible, again, shows that God did not also take chances with His Word, though His Word is trustable:

“Wherein God, willing more abundantly to shew unto the heirs of promise the immutability of his counsel, confirmed it by an oath:

That by two immutable things, in which it was impossible for God to lie, we might have a strong consolation, who have fled for refuge to lay hold upon the hope set before us:” Hebrews 6:17-18 (KJV)

“According to the word that I covenanted with you when ye came out of Egypt, so my spirit remaineth among you: fear ye not.” Haggai 2:5 (KJV)

These verses prove that God, in His bid not to take chances with the Word that cannot fail, secured it with an oath/covenant. If the ever-reliable Word of God is yet secured with an oath, do you think there is anything else that is trustworthy, such that you can trust your life and your marriage with? There is no device or technology put in place that will not fail, on the issue of life and marriage, apart from the Word of God? Can you even trust yourself?

Many godly, virtuous, righteous and reliable brothers and sisters lost their godly testimonies, at the point of their marriage. It is even possible that you had or have just wasted yours! Many great men and women have become (and some are becoming) spiritual dwarfs, just because they took the matter of marriage lightly, and the enemy set their lives and future alight!

If Abraham could make a man, who never disappointed him once, to swear, before he could release him to go and get a wife for his son, then there is a need for you and I to assure and reassure God, by securing your resolve and commitment to the Word of God, more firmly. Casual approach along with casual handling of matters of marriage, will surely backfire!

If you understand the import of this matter, then you will give it all that it takes, in prayers, in studying the Word of God and in taking godly counsels, just to ensure that the Word of God, which is the right standard (for life and marriage), is upheld in your life and marriage.

THE KIND AND BREED

“But THOU SHALT GO unto my country, and TO MY KINDRED, and take a wife unto my son Isaac.” Genesis 24:4 (KJV)

We cannot deny the fact that Abraham, having lived in Canaan for about 65 years, will likely have family friends, there. Isaac also, having lived for 40 years, will have friends in Canaan, especially among his schoolmates and neighbours. Added to this, is the fact that his father was a very rich man, which could naturally attract girls. Getting any woman to marry, under that condition, should not be a difficult thing.

However, Abraham commanded his servant, under oath, to leave Canaan and all the ladies-in-waiting in Canaan and go to his (Abraham’s) country and to his (Abraham’s) kindred and therefrom, get a wife for his son! Why did Abraham have to go this far? It is because of the gravity of marriage! Missing it at the point of marriage is missing it at all the points!

Anyone who lowers godly standard at the point of marriage, has made a choice to live a life lower than what God has designed for him/her. Though it is easier to get a lady in Canaan (for Isaac), but Abraham insisted that his servant should travel to Mesopotamia, to get a wife from there. Abraham did not only insist that the woman should be from his country, he also insisted that the woman must be his kindred! The word “kindred” looks like combination of two words, “kind” and “breed”.

This may be hard, but the truth must be told. You may never get the right spouse if you are not willing to travel far in prayer. Men and women who are lazy in prayer may find God ‘lazy’ towards them, in bringing the right spouse to them.

The second issue is that, you are not permitted as a child of God to marry someone who is not a child of God. How can you marry a man or woman who is not of the kind of your heavenly Father? Not being the Father’s kind was the reason Adam rejected all the animals and birds that were brought to him, even though they were brought to him by God. The kingdom of God can only manifest in your home when both of you are God’s kind! Your breed will also be godly only when both of you are God’s breed. The fact that a man is kind does not make him God’s kind. There are kind animals, you know! Adam knew that none of those animals and birds brought to him had the breath of life, which was God’s kind (of life), in them, and so he rejected all of them.

Do not try to silence your conscience, by telling it that you will convert your unbelieving partner, after your wedding. You cannot. Do you know why? What an unbeliever needs is salvation, not marriage!

“But king Solomon loved many strange women, together with the daughter of Pharaoh, women of the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Zidonians, and Hittites;

Of the nations concerning which the LORD said unto the children of Israel, Ye shall not go in to them, neither shall they come in unto you: for surely they will turn away your heart after their gods: Solomon clave unto these in love.

And he had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines: and his wives turned away his heart.

For it came to pass, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned away his heart after other gods: and his heart was not perfect with the LORD his God, as was the heart of David his father.” 1 Kings 11:1-4 (KJV)

Is it possible to imagine that the same Solomon, who built an edifice for the LORD, will one day become an idol worshipper? If you think that you will convert that unbelieving man or woman, you will likely be the one who will become his or her convert. If s/he is not the kind and the breed of God, then s/he is not good enough for you. The Word of God says:

“Judah hath dealt treacherously, and AN ABOMINATION IS COMMITTED IN ISRAEL and in Jerusalem; for JUDAH HATH PROFANED THE HOLINESS OF THE LORD WHICH HE LOVED, and HATH MARRIED THE DAUGHTER OF A STRANGE GOD.

The LORD will cut off the man that doeth this, the master and

the scholar, out of the tabernacles of Jacob, and him that offereth an offering unto the LORD of hosts.” Malachi 2:11-12 (KJV)

There is something God loves like His Word, which He does not like to lose or pollute, and that is His holiness. But the people of Israel (and, possibly, you) profaned the holiness of the LORD, by marrying the daughter of a strange god! Just imagine God as your Father, following you to the house of the father of the woman you want to marry, only to find out that the woman is the daughter of a strange god. What do you expect God to do in such instance, prostrate for the strange god and ask him to give Him his strange daughter for His own son? Will you make God an in-law to the devil? Think!

The promise of God is that those who decide to disgrace Him, by lowering godly standards in marriage thus committing an abomination and profanity against His holiness via their marriages, shall be cut off. In fact, God promises that those who teach (the masters), that Christians can marry unbelievers and those who accept such strange teaching (the scholars), shall together be cut off!

WITHOUT COMPROMISE

Eliezer asked Abraham, on behalf of all of us, if there is a waiver:

“And the servant said unto him, Peradventure the woman will not be willing to follow me unto this land: must I needs bring thy son again unto the land from whence thou camest?” Genesis 24:5 (KJV)

The servant of Abraham wanted to know if it will be right for a man (or a woman) to lower the standard (compromise godly standard), just to show love and be more accommodating, towards the person s/he wants to marry? Abraham’s answer was in the negative (and God’s answer is still in the negative):

“And Abraham said unto him, Beware thou that thou bring not my son thither again.” Genesis 24:6 (KJV)

Abraham did not just answer in the negative, he also gave his servant the same assurance, which God gave him and which had kept him over the years; it was about the involvement and commitment of God:

“THE LORD GOD OF HEAVEN, which took me from my father’s house, and from the land of my kindred, and which spake unto me, and that sware unto me, saying, Unto thy seed will I give this land; HE SHALL SEND HIS ANGEL BEFORE THEE, AND THOU SHALT TAKE A WIFE UNTO MY SON FROM THENCE.” Genesis 24:7 (KJV) [Emphasis mine]

This verse implies that the same God Who handled the salvation of Abraham, was the One in charge of the marriage of his son. Be informed that that same God, Who worked out our salvation, is also the One in charge of the marriage of all His sons and daughters! As our salvation is very important to God, so is our marriage! Let no man deceive you to think that God is no more interested in marriage; He is! In fact, He is at the centre of it. As He went all out to save us, so He will go all out to ensure our marital safety.

All you need is to submit (and remain submissive) to Him, and it shall be well with you.

May God undertake for you this week, and always, in all that you do, especially in your marriage.

Shalom!

In HIS grip,

Segun Ariyo.

(21st July, 2020.)

SUBMITTING TO THE WILL OF GOD IN MARRIAGE

One great challenge we have as human beings, is the misunderstanding and the misconception of our being made as free moral agents. It was an error that came from the deception of the serpent, who wanted us to be gods, rebels (like him), that are free of God, in all we are and in all we do- “ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil” (Gen. 3:5).

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There is no doubt that the first man and the first woman were free moral agents. They had capacity to choose. However, their sense of judgment, at that initial time, was not based on what their optical eyes could see or discern, but on that which is judged or discerned by God and/or by His Word. It was by God, and by His Word, they learnt that the tree of knowledge of good and evil, was the tree of death:

“And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat:
But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.” Genesis 2:16-17 (KJV)

Unfortunately, it was by the judgment of their eyes, as manipulated by the serpent, they learnt that the tree was good for food, good for sight and such that could make one wise! They rubbished the initial knowledge they had, which was based on the Word of God (to them), and, now, adopted the ‘knowledge’ they received, by the seeing of their eyes, and thus polluted the whole purpose and essence of their lives:

“And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die:
For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.
And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.” Genesis 3:4-6 (KJV)

Sadly, the kind of free moral agents that humans became, from that time, was the devil’s version, not God’s! This is why there is this grave misunderstanding of who we are as human beings. This is why we challenge God and His Word over everything, and, many times, rebel against God’s counsel for our lives.

It is for this reason Jesus came, so that He might bring us back to the God’s-kind of free moral agents that God made us, in the beginning. Jesus declared:

“…Verily, verily, I say unto you, THE SON CAN DO NOTHING OF HIMSELF, BUT WHAT HE SEETH THE FATHER DO: for what things soever he doeth, these also doeth the Son likewise.” John 5:19 (KJV) [Emphasis mine]

Above is the pattern and the kind of free moral agents we must be, as Christians. It is noteworthy that Jesus did not lose His personality and glory, by submitting to the will of the Father, which is a testimony that you will not lose yours, either. Jesus did not become a shadow or a caricature of Himself because He followed or submitted to the Father. He did not fool or feign (to be) Jesus Christ, He was (and still is), Jesus, the Christ till today; and so shall it be forever! In fact, the Bible admonishes:

“Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:
Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men:
AND BEING FOUND IN FASHION AS A MAN, HE HUMBLED HIMSELF, AND BECAME OBEDIENT UNTO DEATH, even the death of the cross.
WHEREFORE GOD ALSO HATH HIGHLY EXALTED HIM, and given him a name which is above every name:
That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth;
And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory (pleasure and riches) of God the Father.” (KJV);

“Have the same attitude among yourselves that was also in the Messiah Jesus:
In God’s own form existed he, and shared with God equality, deemed nothing needed grasping.
Instead, poured out in emptiness, a servant’s form did he possess, a mortal man becoming.
In human form he chose to be, and lived in all humility, death on a cross obeying.
Now lifted up by God to heaven, a name above all others given, this matchless name possessing.
And so, when Jesus’ name is called, the knees of everyone should fall wherever they’re residing.
Then every tongue in one accord, will say that Jesus the Messiah is Lord, while God the Father praising.” (International Standard Version) Philippians 2:5-11

Jesus was obedient, that is, submissive, to the point of death! And now exalted! You can never be reduced to nothing, by submitting to the will of God in all areas of your life, and, especially, in your marriage. It is not possible for you to live in regrets if you submit to the will of God. This is not to suggest that submitting to the will of God, absolves you of challenges or problem. No. You will surely have challenges, but God, to Whom you have submitted yourself, will never leave you to be on your own, struggling. Therefore, any correct son/daughter of God proves the authenticity of his/her relationship with God, by doing only what s/he sees Jesus doing!

SUBMISSION TESTED:

“And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam TO SEE WHAT HE WOULD CALL THEM: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.
And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.” Genesis 2:19-20 (KJV) [Emphasis mine]

These two verses will not be strange to you, if you have been following this series. Adam was not called to do naming ceremony here, he was called to search, if he will find the help that is meet for him among those animals and birds. The Bible remarks that whatever name Adam called any of them was its name! It means Adam had the liberty to name anything a help meet for him. This is fearful! So, it means God came to test Adam’s submission. Adam was given chance to exercise his liberty (as free moral agent) and he did well. You may quickly recall now that you were the one who named the one you married by yourself! Why complaining now?

Do you remember the days of Esther that, that was how each lady was given liberty to choose whatever she liked in the very night she was to meet the king? These were ladies who had been in the harem for 12 months. They were treated with myrrh and with sweet spices by Hegai, the king’s chamberlain.

“Now when every maid’s turn was come to go in to king Ahasuerus, after that she had been twelve months, according to the manner of the women, (for so were the days of their purifications accomplished, to wit, six months with oil of myrrh, and six months with sweet odours, and with other things for the purifying of the women;)
Then thus came every maiden unto the king; whatsoever she desired was given her to go with her out of the house of the women unto the king’s house.” Esther 2:12-13 (KJV)

Unfortunately, the maidens who went ahead of Esther, exercised their liberty to the fullest; they gave orders to Hegai to give them whatever they liked and they felt would impress the king. How foolishly they behaved! How could they know the taste of the king like this man who had been the beautician of the king’s wives for many years? Are you also thinking you know more than God? It meant that they only pretended to be submissive for those twelve months in which they submitted to Hegai. The Bible remarks:

“IN THE EVENING SHE WENT, AND ON THE MORROW she returned into the second house of the women, to the custody of Shaashgaz, the king’s chamberlain, which kept the concubines: SHE CAME IN UNTO THE KING NO MORE, except the king delighted in her, and that she were called by name.” Esther 2:14 (KJV) [Emphasis mine]

From Hegai to Shaashgaz! Those non-submissive maidens lived the rest of their lives as widows! Wedded, yet single! But the Bible says:

“NOW WHEN THE TURN OF ESTHER, the daughter of Abihail the uncle of Mordecai, who had taken her for his daughter, was come TO GO IN UNTO THE KING, SHE REQUIRED NOTHING BUT WHAT HEGAI THE KING’S CHAMBERLAIN, THE KEEPER OF THE WOMEN, APPOINTED. And Esther obtained favour in the sight of all them that looked upon her.
So Esther was taken unto king Ahasuerus into his house royal in the tenth month, which is the month Tebeth, in the seventh year of his reign.
AND THE KING LOVED ESTHER ABOVE ALL THE WOMEN, and she obtained grace and favour in his sight more than all the virgins; so that he set the royal crown upon her head, and made her queen instead of Vashti.” Esther 2:15-17 (KJV) [Emphasis mine]

The turn of Esther was a different turn! Esther decided not to travel the path of self and pride trod by those who went ahead of her. She chose to be different. The king preferred Esther above all others because she did not dress herself; she allowed another to dress her. It was the choice of Esther’s competitors to dress themselves, and it was Esther’s choice to be dressed by Hegai. Those who dressed themselves were dressed down by the king and dragged to the hand of Shaashgaz; but only Esther, who was dressed by another, was addressed as the Queen and remained in the hand of Hegai, the beautician! You cannot claim or behave to be wiser than your Maker and you will remain in His hand. If He made you, He would dress you. Allow Him to dress you for marriage.

The submission of Adam was further tested in his patience! Just imagine as the animals and fowls were filing past him, calling them names that disqualified them. One should think the patience of Adam would be running out as the animals were reducing in number! He should have become very impatient when it only remained three animals to check. But Adam did not give in to any pressure, within or without. He did not pick any of the last three animals out of impatience, even though there was no other creature elsewhere to choose from.

Many have been victims of such pressure! Many threw patience overboard and picked just anybody that came their way, all because they felt age was no more on their side or because it was their last week on campus. Today, they are living in regret of their ill-informed actions. But for Adam, even when the last animal came and was not the one appointed by God, he gladly let go – he was simply satisfied to remain a bachelor for God!

Why are you impatient? Do you know that the number of males were exactly the number of females, in the ark of Noah? Females may be more, only outside the ark, but not in the ark. Do not believe the lies of the enemy that you will be left behind if you do not take that animal as your spouse! Good news is that God has a correct counterpart for you. The Bible says, He Who made them at the beginning, made them male and female! The fact that you are made a male shows that there is a female counterpart and vice versa.

What is your relationship with God like? Does He talk to you at all? Do you know and hear His voice? Adam was at peace, even when there was nothing to choose from, all because God never said it was finished for him. Adam did not think he had missed it, just because there were no more animals to choose from. Even if there were more animals, should he have picked from them? The best an animal can be is to be a good animal; an animal will still be an animal.

Why are you agitated? There was no woman for Adam, even when he was ready for marriage, yet God made one for him; it means the same God can and will make yours, too! The fact that there seems to be none in sight, does not mean there is none of your size! God does not act this way in the area of marriage alone; He does it in all other areas.

THE PLACE AND GUIDANCE OF PARENTS/LEADERS/ELDERS/DISCIPLE-MAKERS

While we recognise the position, ministry and the authority of parents, leaders, elders, and disciple-makers, while representing God (if they are godly themselves), in guiding the young ones into marriage, we must however, be careful, lest we mix things up.

Whereas every young man/woman must learn to submit to the godly authority of parents, leaders, elders and disciple-makers; however, parents, leaders, elders and disciple-makers must also not play God over the lives of those they were appointed to lead. The story of Samson is a good illustration at this point:

“And Samson went down to Timnath, and saw a woman in Timnath of the daughters of the Philistines.
And he came up, and told his father and his mother, and said, I have seen a woman in Timnath of the daughters of the Philistines: now therefore get her for me to wife.
Then his father and his mother said unto him, Is there never a woman among the daughters of thy brethren, or among all my people, that thou goest to take a wife of the uncircumcised Philistines? And Samson said unto his father, Get her for me; for she pleaseth me well.
BUT HIS FATHER AND HIS MOTHER KNEW NOT THAT IT WAS OF THE LORD, that he (God) sought an occasion against the Philistines: for at that time the Philistines had dominion over Israel.” Judges 14:1-4 (KJV)

These verses of the Bible, especially verse 4, have confused many people. Going down to Timnath was not the problem of Samson, for it was clearly stated in verse four that his father and mother knew not that it was of the LORD! That means it was of the LORD that Samson should go down to Timnath. You wonder how can it be the LORD, that led Samson to go and marry an unbeliever? If you take note of the last two phrases, you will see why.

The first phrase says, “he sought an occasion against the Philistines”. The word “he”, in this phrase, was not Samson, but God. It means that God, not Samson, sought an occasion against, that is, to start a fight with the Philistines. The second phrase says, “for at that time the Philistines had dominion over Israel.”. This second phrase shows how God planned to seek an occasion against the Philistines.

God’s intention was, since the Philistines had dominion over Israel at that time, the Philistines, will, out of arrogance, refuse to give their daughter to Samson, and then Samson would be stirred to deal with them.

All what Samson did later, by setting the farms of the Philistines ablaze and by killing them, should have been done as the one sent by God, on the platform of godliness and righteousness; not as one who was angry and vengeful. But Samson fought the Philistines because of the loss of his wife, not because of his zeal for the LORD. A man may be preaching and getting souls into the kingdom of God all because of money, while another is doing the same work out of his love for the LORD. What the two are doing might look similar, but the reason behind the two are different!

Samson cried more than the bereaved; he had more interest in the woman than the interest of God, Who raised him. The plan of God was not for Samson to marry the woman, but for him to express an interest, in the woman, that will lead to a fight with the Philistines; no more, no less!

However, we need to note the godly part, which the godly parents of Samson played in this matter. God appointed them as His representatives, even before Samson was born. They were appointed to guide Samson, but not to gag him. They were to counsel him, but not to coerce him. They were to raise fence for him, but not to force him. The parents of Samson simply brought the counsel of God to him, and when he rejected it, they kept quiet and allowed Samson to travel the path he chose for himself. Discipleship is not by force; it is by choice.

Samson reduced God and his godly parents to mere spectators in his marital affairs, and he paid dearly for it. Those who refuse God and the counsel of godly men most times, have such stories to tell. Samson never recovered since he missed it at the point of marriage; you don’t have to travel that path.

We have parents, leaders, elders and disciple-makers, who play God and match-make, today. Some even go to the extent of prophesying and naming who should marry who. We make bold to say that such acts are strange to the Bible. There were great prophets like Daniel, Isaiah in the Old Testament, yet none of them was shown the Bride of Christ! A man like Daniel pressed God to know, but God did not reveal it to him. And it is not likely that God has changed that pattern today. This is not to suggest that God cannot confide in His servants, He can. But correct leaders wait for God to speak to the person/s involved.

As a young man/woman, you should know God enough to hear him. Godly parents, leaders, elders and disciple-makers are there to help you check if you hear God well, and not to dictate who should be your wife or your husband! No.

Hear what godly elders said to the servant of Abraham, after hearing how God led him, to them:

“Then Laban and Bethuel answered and said, The thing proceedeth from the LORD: we cannot speak unto thee bad or good.
Behold, Rebekah is before thee, take her, and go, and let her be thy master’s son’s wife, as the LORD hath spoken.” Genesis 24:50,51 (KJV)

The elders meant that they did not sit to be in support or to be against him or their daughter. All they were there to do is to ensure that the matter proceeded from the LORD. Once they can confirm that God is the One behind it, then the marriage can be! This must be the position of correct leaders.

Isaac had nothing to regret, for following or submitting to God and to the godly leadership of his parent/leader. If God has blessed you with godly leaders, then do not be afraid to follow their godly counsel, which you can always cross-check with the Bible, at all times.

May the LORD bless you this day and every day of your life, even as you walk in submission, in Jesus’ Name. Amen.

Shalom!

In HIS grip,
Segun Ariyo.

THE REASONS THE ONE GOD BRINGS IS THE BEST

We must press this all-important issue of making the right choice in marriage, a bit further. Why? Making a wrong choice in marriage, has proved, in many lives and in many instances, to be lifetime disasters. Thus, as a young man/woman, who is ready for marriage, it will be a blessing for you to choose right.

And as married ones, you will also need to check through this study, just to know if you got it wrong or not, at the beginning. Having this kind of knowledge is not to give you legitimate ground for divorce. It is simply to guide you in praying and in seeking the right help for your life.

Let it be made clear here and now that those who were already married to spouses who were brought by situations, events, friends, family, status or the ones bought by money, by beauty, by position, by influence, by power or by force or by any other means other than God, cannot reverse their decisions. No matter what the world system says, divorce is not an option in the Word of God. However, let it be known to you that, the fact that you cannot divorce does not mean you are hopeless, hapless or helpless.

THE ONE WHO MAKES BRINGS

“And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, MADE he a woman, AND BROUGHT her unto the man.” Genesis 2:22 (KJV) [Emphasis mine]

This verse of the Bible throws up two important words – “made” and “brought”. It is noteworthy that the same God Who made, brought! God makes, God brings! The Maker is the Bringer. He brings what He makes and not what He makes not. If He makes (you), He will bring (you) and He will bring to you. You cannot expect God to bring what He has not made. Such will not be consistent with His character.

If you accept that God is the Maker of marriage, then allow Him to bring you into it. If you also agree that houses and riches are the inheritance of the fathers, but a prudent wife (and a good husband) is from the LORD, then allow Him to bring your own.

The word “brought”, in this context, means “led” or “introduced”. It is interesting to note that though God was the Maker of the woman, He did not make the woman for Himself, either to introduce her or lead her to Himself. Truth is, God took the rib He used in making the woman from the man, and so He made the woman for the man, and to the same man He brought (led, introduced) the woman!

It is unlike God to make or design a spouse for a man and give that same spouse to another. God will not take your bone to make a woman for another man, and He will not take the bone He used to make another woman and bring a strange bone to you! God does not do bone swap! Since you are made for someone, you must be led to the person. And if you are made by God, then God (not Google) should lead you and should introduce you. You do not even need all the self-introduction of sending unsolicited new hour, new day, new week and new month text greetings and gifts! If God has made you for a man, He will introduce you to that man. If God has made a woman for you, then be sure that He will handle the introduction. Correct men, like the servant of Abraham, exercise restraints, and do no self-introduction, even when everything looks perfect. Please take note of these words of the LORD:

“And THE MAN WONDERING AT HER HELD HIS PEACE, to wit whether the LORD had made his journey prosperous or not.” Genesis 24:21 (KJV) [Emphasis mine]

Please, hold your peace, while you enjoy the spectacle! The water you will drink will not flow pass you.

Again, every God’s choice is God-made. God’s choice is the good choice (for you), because God takes responsibility to bring His choice to you, without stress, except you cause the stress. Those who choose God and choose His choice for them in marriage, have chosen God’s rest!

BRINGING AS AGAINST BARGAINING

“And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, MADE he a woman, AND BROUGHT her unto the man.” Genesis 2:22 (KJV) [Emphasis mine]

The Bible did not say that Adam bought the woman who became his wife. Why should Adam pay or bargain for what belongs to him? Adam did not pay, he did not bargain, He only gave (his bones)! There is a difference between paying and giving, and between bargaining and bringing (receiving). Payment is to pay a price, giving is to offer a prize! Bargaining is a (business) negotiation or transaction, and bringing is God’s transfer (to you) – all you see is a ‘credit alert” in your spirit (if you are connected)!

Sir/Ma, if you have to pay to have a man/woman, then it means the man/woman is not yours! Adam did not pay to have Eve, not because there was no one to collect ‘dowry’ from his hand; but because Eve was not a commodity, or an article that was up for sale. Eve was a priceless, well-treasured God’s customised help (meet) for Adam! Eve, on the other part, did not have to pay or bargain for Adam, all because Adam was not a commodity. What is your price? How much do you worth?

As a woman, you should be a prize that is giving to a favoured man, and not as a commodity sold at a price! And as a man, you should wait to receive the woman God has made for you because she is yours; you do not need to pay or bargain for her – this is because you don’t need any purchasing power to possess the favour of God for your life!

You pay for what is not yours, and bargain for what belongs to another. And as long as you are a commodity up for sale, there will be men who will come to negotiate for you at a price. Why sell yourself (cheap), oh woman? Do you know that no matter how much a man is willing to stake on you, you will still be selling yourself cheap, as a woman?

This is why it is wrong for dowry to be made a payment, instead of a gift! Dowry, in the Bible, means a precious gift, not a heavy payment; not even bride-price, if it should be anything at all, it should be bride’s-gift. But in our days, dowry is more of a penalty (to pay) for daring to ask for the hand of a woman in marriage, than a gift it was meant to be! Jacob paid (because he chose a wrong path), but the servant of Abraham gave it as a gift; check your Bible:

“And Jacob loved Rachel; and said, I WILL SERVE THEE SEVEN YEARS FOR RACHEL thy younger daughter.” Genesis 29:18 (KJV)

“And THE SERVANT BROUGHT FORTH JEWELS OF SILVER, AND JEWELS OF GOLD, AND RAIMENT, AND GAVE THEM TO REBEKAH: HE GAVE ALSO TO HER BROTHER AND TO HER MOTHER PRECIOUS THINGS.” Genesis 24:53 (KJV) [Emphasis mine]

Leah was the one who named her sixth son Dowry (which was the first place the word occurred in the Bible), and what was in her mind was very clear:

“And Leah conceived again, and bare Jacob the sixth son.
And Leah said, God hath endued me with A GOOD DOWRY; now will my husband dwell with me, because I have born him six sons: and she called his name Zebulun.” (KJV) [Emphasis mine];

“Leah conceived again and bore Jacob a sixth son.
Then Leah said, “God has presented me with A PRECIOUS GIFT. This time my husband will treat me with honor, because I have borne him six sons.” So she named him Zebulun.” (NIV) Genesis 30:19-20 [Emphasis mine]

When the time comes, we shall look at the issue of dowry; but for now, keep paying! We will yet concentrate on the difference between bringing, which is godly, as against bargaining, which is worldly.

Isaac was a man who submitted to the will of God. And you will recollect that it was his father’s servant who travelled to Mesopotamia to get the woman, whom God had ordained for him, while he took his rest at Negev! The servant Abraham sent, demonstrated the fact God is the One Who does the bringing, not money, not anything. It is not by bargaining; it is by accessing and accepting the choice of God.

“And the servant took ten camels of the camels of his master, and departed; for all the goods of his master were in his hand: and he arose, and went to Mesopotamia, unto the city of Nahor.
And he made his camels to kneel down without the city by a well of water at the time of the evening, even the time that women go out to draw water. And he said, O LORD GOD OF MY MASTER ABRAHAM, I PRAY thee, send me good speed this day, and shew kindness unto my master Abraham.
Behold, I stand here by the well of water; and the daughters of the men of the city come out to draw water:
And let it come to pass, that the damsel to whom I shall say, Let down thy pitcher, I pray thee, that I may drink; and she shall say, Drink, and I will give thy camels drink also: LET THE SAME BE SHE THAT THOU HAST APPOINTED FOR THY SERVANT ISAAC; and thereby shall I know that thou hast shewed kindness unto my master.
And it came to pass, BEFORE HE HAD DONE SPEAKING (praying to God), THAT, BEHOLD, REBEKAH CAME OUT, who was born to Bethuel, son of Milcah, the wife of Nahor, Abraham’s brother, with her pitcher upon her shoulder.” Genesis 24:10-15 (KJV) [Emphasis mine]

Some people think that prayer is for the poor. How wrong they are! Behold this man, in whose hand were all the goods of Abraham, praying! This man came to Mesopotamia with 10 SUVs (camels), and with a lot of money (gold and silver) in hard currency; just arrived! A man like him should not have problem attracting ladies. But he knew that God is the One in charge, not gold; so, he prayed! Prayer is not just to collect something from God; it is a platform to connect with God. Why won’t you pray? The Bible says before he finished praying, Rebekah came out.

Look at these two unfolding scenarios and decide which one pays you better:

“And the servant ran to meet her, and said, Let me, I pray thee, drink a little water of thy pitcher.
And she said, Drink, my lord: and she hasted, and let down her pitcher upon her hand, and gave him drink.
And when she had done giving him drink, she said, I will draw water for thy camels also, until they have done drinking.
And she hasted, and emptied her pitcher into the trough, and ran again unto the well to draw water, and drew for all his camels.
And the man wondering at her held his peace, to wit whether the LORD had made his journey prosperous or not.” Genesis 24:17-21 (KJV)

Compare what happened here to the servant of Abraham, with what happened to Jacob:

“Then Jacob went on his journey, and came into the land of the people of the east.
And he looked, and behold a well in the field, and, lo, there were three flocks of sheep lying by it; for out of that well they watered the flocks: and a great stone was upon the well’s mouth.
And thither were all the flocks gathered: and they rolled the stone from the well’s mouth, and watered the sheep, and put the stone again upon the well’s mouth in his place.
AND JACOB SAID UNTO THEM, MY BRETHREN, WHENCE BE YE? AND THEY SAID, OF HARAN ARE WE. AND HE SAID UNTO THEM, KNOW YE LABAN THE SON OF NAHOR? AND THEY SAID, WE KNOW HIM. AND HE SAID UNTO THEM, IS HE WELL? AND THEY SAID, HE IS WELL: AND, BEHOLD, RACHEL HIS DAUGHTER COMETH WITH THE SHEEP.

“And WHILE HE YET SPAKE WITH THEM (speaking to men), Rachel came with her father’s sheep: for she kept them.
And it came to pass, when Jacob saw Rachel the daughter of Laban his mother’s brother, and the sheep of Laban his mother’s brother, that Jacob went near, and rolled the stone from the well’s mouth, and watered the flock of Laban his mother’s brother.” Genesis 29:1-6,9-10 (KJV) [Emphasis mine]

You will notice that the servant of Abraham spoke to God, not because he met nobody at the well, but because he knew that “houses and riches are the inheritance of the father, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.” A man who allows God to do the bringing, enters into his rest. This is why it was the woman that drew water and not him!

Jacob on his part, did not bother to pray. Maybe he felt there was no need to talk to God when there were men to talk to. Do you also think there is need for you to pray, since there are prophets that can pray for you and Google to consukt? Men truly helped Jacob, they introduced the house of Laban to him and also introduced Rachel to him, and before he was done speaking to the men, Rachel also came!

However, instead of Rachel to give him water, to quench his thirst, he was the one who drew water! He began to pay for his prayerlessness, and for not waiting for God in his choice in marriage, even before he got married to Rachel!

It would have been better if the troubles of Jacob ended at the well. That seemingly simple error travelled with him for the rest of his life! His response to the simple question of Pharaoh, revealed the secret pains and losses of Jacob:

“And Pharaoh said unto Jacob, How old art thou?
And Jacob said unto Pharaoh, The days of THE YEARS OF MY PILGRIMAGE are an hundred and thirty years: FEW AND EVIL HAVE THE DAYS OF THE YEARS OF MY LIFE BEEN, and have not attained unto the days of the years of the life of my fathers in the days of their pilgrimage.” Genesis 47:8-9 (KJV) [Emphasis mine]

Jacob, in the verses above, made us to know that two calendars run simultaneously over every man – one counts the number of years of a man’s pilgrimage, that is, his physical age; while the other one counts the number of years of a man’s life, that is, the years he lives to fulfil his God-given purpose! Jacob, here, had lengthy years of pilgrimage (130 years), but few and evil were his years of life! It means a man may live for 130 years on earth, when the worth of the years of his true living may be less than twenty. This is what becomes of a man who does not make God’s choice in marriage, his choice!

It was when Jacob wanted to die that he realised that Leah was God’s choice for him. The Bible says:

“And he charged them, and said unto them, I am to be gathered unto my people: bury me with my fathers in the cave that is in the field of Ephron the Hittite,
In the cave that is in the field of Machpelah, which is before Mamre, in the land of Canaan, which Abraham bought with the field of Ephron the Hittite for a possession of a buryingplace.
There they buried Abraham and Sarah his wife; there they buried Isaac and Rebekah his wife; and there I buried Leah.” Genesis 49:29-31 (KJV)

No one needs to waste so much to learn so simple a lesson. Unfortunately, what took Jacob, a son, 20 years of servitude, and many years of misery, took an ordinary servant of his grandfather less than 24 hours to accomplish. The servant of Abraham did not give in to any negotiation throughout his stay in the house of Rebekah’s parents and he never struggled to have Rebekah for his master’s son.

If you are a correct child of God, then God’s choice should be your rest. Let God do the job for you, while you take your rest. He is the only Light (Eye) that shines (sees) in darkness, which darkness cannot comprehend (confuse) (John 1:5).

Have a blessed week and a sweet, swift and safe marital voyage!

Shalom!

In HIS grip,
Segun Ariyo.
(6th July, 2020.)